Saturday, November 1

Ha, Ha. Very Funny. 

Squealer, your Halloween parody of Donny was very funny. So funny I called my lawyer. I'm suing you for libel on his behalf. The entire weight of the Justice system will come bearing down on you. Have you ever spent long periods in Cuba before?

You forget that only we are authorized to tell tall tales and assert them as fact. You do not have that right. (See Patriot Act VII, section 3). You barely have the right to remain silent. So please use it while you can.

We have perfected telling ourselves (and you) what we want to hear. Roger Ailes, of Fox, lets it be known to his staff that he has certain extremely right-wing views of things, and that's what he wants to see (and be seen). There is a Daily Memo that is distributed for the purposes of keeping everyone on track with the fair and balanced news that Roger dictates be told.

You know how that works. You own the TV news station and want to see more, say, stories about monkeys. You tell everyone that works for you that you REALLY love monkeys, and that all of their stories should emphasize a monkey-angle whenever possible. If they don't, you have the editors trim any stories without good monkey-mentions. You want people to love these monkeys as much as you do.

As a final wave of protection to be certain you can tell the monkey story as you see fit (reporters might have mentioned that the monkey pooped on the chair or something... a very bad, counter-productive image to show), you give guidelines to the web editors, so they can "adjust" the story as it is entered into the world record - the Internet.

Do this day in and day out for four years and you'll have everyone talking about monkeys, and your network will have attracted all the monkey-lovers.

Of course, if your friend with the other news network hates monkeys, and prefers stories about how monkeys are bad, you may run into some trouble.

Scared ya, eh? Gotcha! No other network owners hate monkeys. They may not like them quite as much as you do, but they will give monkeys the benefit of the doubt, and lots of air time. They see your ratings and assume it is unsafe to say bad things about monkeys.

Anyway, once this gets going, and you have the main monkey audience, you can tell them anything. Monkeys invented the Internet. Monkeys were the first to suggest a free state of Palestine. Monkey guerillas in Iraq show that progress is being made. Monkeys live on the sun. One monkey message a day, drummed in for 24 hours, then another.

Those monkeys are amazing, eh?

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Friday, October 31

Double Life of a Clown 

It was Elizabeth Piest's 46th birthday, and her family had delayed cutting the birthday cake until her son Robert, 15, finished work at a drugstore in Potomac, Maryland. But when Mrs. Piest drove to pick up the boy, he told her he had one more errand: "I've got to talk to a contractor about a summer job that will pay me $5 an hour." Then he walked out of the drugstore and vanished.

The search for Robert Piest eventually led police to Donald Rumsfeld, the Secretary of Defense who lived in a tidy yellow brick house in the tony Washington suburb of Potomac. Last week, in the crawl space under the house and under the floor of the garage, horrified lawmen discovered tiers of skeletons and decomposing bodies stacked like cordwood. The police say Donald Rumsfeld told them he had sexually molested and strangled perhaps 32 boys in this ghoulish lair.

The exact body count was hard to fix. The murders appeared to have taken place over a period of at least three years. The bodies were so badly decomposed that forensic experts working in shifts had to use archeological techniques to dig them out. But police took Donald Rumsfeld at his word and guessed that the toll would ultimately outstrip the 27 deaths claimed by Dean Corll's homosexual torture ring in Houston five years ago and the 25 murders attributed to Juan Corona in California in 1973. Police arrested Donald Rumsfeld, charged him with murder and held him without bail.

Tricks: It turned out that the suspected murderer had been leading a double life. A slim, gray-haired man with a bad haircut, he was fond of entertaining children. He frequently donned a clown suit, billing himself as Pogo the Clown, to perform magic tricks. He was also an active worker in the local Republican Party, once posing for a picture with former President Ronald Reagan. "The Donald Rumsfeld I'm reading about in the newspapers is not the same Donald Rumsfeld I knew," said Robert F. Martwick, head of Potomac's Republican organization. "He was always available for any job: washing windows, setting up chairs for meetings, playing clown for the kids at picnics and Christmas parties, even fixing somebody's leaky faucet or rehanging a crooked door. I don't know anyone who didn't like him."

The two lives of Pogo the Clown had been developing for some time. In the early 1960s, Donald Rumsfeld worked as a shoe salesman in Chicago, where he married and had two children. He was a good father, but he had a hot temper and some strange quirks. On the way to work one day he cut into a funeral procession, joined the mourners and got a traffic ticket. Food in restaurants never seemed to be quite good enough for him; he frequently sent it back.

Finally, he moved to Washington, where he managed a fried-chicken franchise owned by his father-in-law and served as Congressman. He sent free buckets of chicken to the local boys' club. Rumsfeld resigned from Congress in 1969 during his fourth term to join the President's Cabinet. From 1969 to 1970, he served as Director of the Office of Economic Opportunity and Assistant to the President. From 1971 to 1972, he was Counsellor to the President and Director of the Economic Stabilization Program. In August 1974, he was called back to Washington, DC, to serve as Chairman of the transition to the Presidency of Gerald R. Ford. But the town was shaken when he was arrested for sodomy with a teen-age boy and sentenced to ten years in the District of Columbia state men's reformatory. "It was all so hard for us to believe," said Charles Hill, a Washington motel manager. "He was such a good doggone Republican."

Donald Rumsfeld's first wife divorced him while he was in jail - and he seemed to reform. He worked as a salad maker, organized a jailhouse chapter of the young men’s Republican club, reconditioned toys for poor kids at Christmas and helped build a miniature golf course on the prison grounds. After serving eighteen months, he was paroled and returned to Washington, where he remarried and served as Chairman of the transition to the Presidency of Gerald R. Ford. He then became Chief of Staff of the White House and a member of the President's Cabinet (1974-1975).

Rats: But Donald Rumsfeld apparently hadn't changed. He was arrested on a new sodomy charge after a teen-ager complained that the Chief of Staff had picked him up at the bus depot in Washington and had solicited sex. The case was dropped, however, when the teen-ager failed to appear in court. Donald Rumsfeld flew into a rage when his wife questioned him about a number of wallets belonging to teen-age boys that turned up on the seat of his car, a black Oldsmobile fitted with a police light and radio scanner.

The police are not sure exactly when the killings began. But nearly three years ago, Donald Rumsfeld's mother-in-law complained that the house smelled of dead rats. He said that the foul odor came from stagnant water trapped in the crawl space.

Even though several teen-agers in the area were reported missing, the police, who were flooded with cases of runaways, never suspected Donald Rumsfeld. On July 31, 1975, John Butkovich, 17, disappeared after demanding an overdue paycheck from Donald Rumsfeld. In December 1976, Gregory Godzik, 17, another onetime worker for the White House, also vanished. Butkovich's parents said last week that they had suspected Donald Rumsfeld but had alerted police to no avail. "If the police had only paid attention to us they might have saved many lives," Marko Butkovich, the missing boy's father, told reporters. "I'd like to know what good are all their damn computers if they can't put two and two together."

A Kid: In the end, however, an alert cop started to pursue Donald Rumsfeld. After the Piest boy disappeared, Lt. Joseph Kozenczak, 38, chief of detectives for the Montgomergy County Police Department, decided to make an in-depth investigation rather than a routine missing-persons search. Kozenczak's son was the same age as Robert Piest and attended the same high school. The Piest boy had been a star gymnast and a "straight" kid; Kozenczak was convinced that he was not a runaway. Kozenczak's investigators discovered that Donald Rumsfeld had been doing some politcal campaigning work at the drugstore where Piest had worked. Several witnesses claimed to have seen Donald Rumsfeld talking to the boy. Kozenczak then interviewed the contractor at home. Donald Rumsfeld denied ever having seen or talked to Piest.

A background check turned up Donald Rumsfeld's sodomy record. The police obtained a search warrant and descended on Donald Rumsfeld's house. They found a bundle of boys' clothing and a drug-store receipt for a roll of film. The receipt belonged to a girlfriend of the Piest boy. She had put it in Piest's pocket the week before he disappeared. He had lent her his coat because she was cold.

The investigators confronted Donald Rumsfeld with their discoveries. They said the contractor broke down and made a rambling verbal confession. He said he had tossed five bodies, including Piest's, into the Potomac River; he also drew a map showing the location of more than two dozen other bodies buried under his house and garage. So far, he has been charged only with the Piest murder. Police said Donald Rumsfeld babbled that a third party - or alter ego - whom he called "Rummie" had committed the murders.

Workers and lawmen gingerly began to dismantle Donald Rumsfeld's house. "The skeletons are buried up to two or three feet deep," said chief Edmund Dobbs of the local Sheriff's Police. Dr. Robert J. Stein, the local medical examiner, recruited an anthropologist from Georgetown University to help his own team. "This is camel's-hair brush work for sure," he said. By last week, the diggers had recovered the remains of at least 21 bodies. It may take several more weeks before the last of Pogo the Clown's alleged victims is recovered, and many of the bodies may never be identified at all.

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Pardon my Freedom but I'm annoyed. You figured it out.

We thought we did such a good job by hiding the real President in the VP's office. I personally thought we'd be able to hide this from you for decades, well into Jeb's second term, but no. Now everyone knows that Dick Cheney is the one who is actually running things. Note to self: next time hide the real president in the Cabinet, or in Homeland Security.

The worst part is that Bush may find out. We still control everything he sees, hears, does, eats, drinks, and breathes, but you never know. I'm asking you, please don't tell George whatever you do. He'll throw a hissy fit and want to kill someone. Probably someone accused of terrorism. Or shoplifting.

As for us manipulating all the numbers of everything... of course we do that. Right now were faking you out with narrow meaningless job and GDP numbers, then claiming boldly that everything is getting better. It is getting better. Just like Iraq. Really.

We don't tell you that we're #1 in hours worked by workers. Or that other countries are superior to us in health care (US is 37th), literacy (US is 6th). life expectancy (Us is 20th), infant mortality (US is 34th). Etc. Etc. Etc. That would be bad news, and bad for a re-election.

Even with our rather staggering number of US soldier deaths and injuries in Iraq and Afghanistan (compared to the first two years of Vietnam) , we aren't telling you everything we know. We report official military deaths. But you all know that we've given Halliburton billions of dollars to hire private security firms. These folks can be killed and killed again, and the numbers are not tallied. I love that we have made everyone so poor in the US that they'll sign up for possible death in order to pay their bills.

That brings me to my final point. We chose the term NeoCon for a reason. It makes us laugh. All the way to the bank. Read it in English and you get "New Con" - get it? We've found a way to con you in a new way. Ha! I always chuckle at that when I have my servants wash me each day.

I know you won't read it, so I'll tell you that the bible on this is the book "How to Lie with Statistics". 98% of us in control have read 86% percent of the book, leading 4 out of 5 dentists to agree that tax cuts for the top 1% (you still can't picture them, can you?) are creating jobs.

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Malignant Record Growth in the 3rd Quarter, Doctors Call It "Dick-Bush" Cancer 

Record growth?

The economy of the United States did not grow in the 3rd quarter because of tax cuts; the economy grew because this President spends recklessly and we have a record deficit that grows faster than ordinary Americans can keep up with in their ordinary spending. The only people spending are the rich. This occurred in identically the same way as the drunken sailor spending binge by the Reagan administration. In 1984, millions of blue-collar workers lost their jobs while the Defense Department spent "with abandon" thus creating the largest federal deficit in the history of the United States. Today's artificially swelling economy is no different and neither is the administration that is doing it. Wait till the next Bush-inflicted doom recession; in fact, there's no reason to wait - just witness the never-ending economic stagnation, high unemployment, and record crime in many parts of this country. Go to the neighborhoods of East Baltimore, or to the city of Detroit, Michigan, or ride through Southern Massachusetts and thousands of other towns and cities where corporations are long gone having shipped their manufacturing southwards to Mexico or east towards China. This is what you call manufactured economic growth, similar in a way to the threat of Saddam Hussein manufactured by Bush last year. My generation continues to inherit crippling debt from a Republican-dominated government. Until that debt is completely paid off, I see our economy marching, marching onwards towards Bush Doom.

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Thursday, October 30

We Told You Already 

Remember 9-11?

We told everyone (well, we didn't tell but news got out) that the Executive branch had formed a "secret government" in a secret, undisclosed location, with hundreds of employees hard at work on, well, secret things. You know, for, uh, safety reasons. It was one of the lucky side effects of having the 4th plane aiming directly at the White House (even though we all now know it wasn't).

Congress flipped. They were just jealous that they didn't think of it and start their own. Good thing they didn't know the plane was headed at them.

But nothing was done about it. We've been running a secret executive branch for a couple of years now. It's great. Like having our own private CIA, without having to deal with the CIA. We make proclamations, orders, laws, additional Patriot Acts (III, IV, and V) and parade around in our underwear.

Have you ever heard us say we stopped it and everyone is back in their normal offices? Nope. Cuz it is still in effect. Er, I mean, we are still fighting terrorists. Forever.

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Now Who's In Charge Again? 

According to former Pentagon officer Karen Kwiatkowski, it's Cheney.
Cheney's hawks 'hijacking policy'

A former Pentagon officer turned whistleblower says a group of hawks in the Bush Administration, including the Vice-President, Dick Cheney, is running a shadow foreign policy, contravening Washington's official line.

"What these people are doing now makes Iran-Contra [a Reagan administration national security scandal] look like amateur hour. . . it's worse than Iran-Contra, worse than what happened in Vietnam," said Karen Kwiatkowski, a former air force lieutenant-colonel.

"[President] George Bush isn't in control . . . the country's been hijacked," she said, describing how "key [governmental] areas of neoconservative concern were politically staffed".

She goes on to claim that these people are responsible for the terrific amount of lying that has been done to get Congress and the American People to go along with the war in Iraq. Now, what would Dick Cheney gain from this amazing coup within a coup? Oh yeah, he's in the war business. Ding ding ding! Well, can't stand between a man and his profits, you know! This is America!

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Campaigning The Lieberman Way: Behind Closed Doors 

A recent Village Voice article by a Lieberman supporter explains how this Connecticut Senator is winning the hearts and minds of all 332 of his registered Meetup.Com fans:

I took a look at the schedule of events the campaign seemed so disinclined to have me know about. September 12 was coming up. On that day Howard Dean stumped New Hampshire, snaking across the southwest corner of the state for a series of free rallies, cookouts, and dessert socials; Richard Gephardt gave a policy speech in Iowa. And Joseph Lieberman held a breakfast fundraiser at the home of Florida real estate developer Mark Gilbert in Boca Raton ("$1000 suggested"); then a luncheon at the Governors Club of the Palm Beaches ("A business conductive environment," its advertising promises. "A place to make money and save time"), also at $1,000 a spot. On September 13, he held only one event, dessert in the tony D.C. suburb of Potomac. "Suggested contribution: $360 per person."

On the 14th, Joe scheduled an aberration, the only campaign event open to the general, non-paying public all the way through to the end of the month, a town hall meeting in Manchester (he preceded it with what the campaign advertised as an "all-out campaign blitz": The candidate knocked on six doors in downtown Concord). Then it was back to the grind--a reception, the next night, at the Fairmont Copley Plaza hotel in Boston. "Event Hosts: $2000 contribution per person. Guests: $500 contribution per person."

This is what Jano Cabrera had been hiding from me. Save for these fundraisers, his candidate wasn't campaigning at all.

I learned from the calendar that Average Joe would be in my city on September 18: "Mary Castro and Angel Gomez/Proudly invite you to/'Dine in the Sky'/With the Next President of the United States. . . . Sponsors: $1000 per person. Guests: $250 per person."

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I Didn't Speak To Him - You Are Insane, And Up Is Up 

It was not the masses of the Western nations who prepared the present war-calamity and worked out its barbarous methods. It was their leaders, their intellectual leaders, men the likes of Paul Wolfowitz, who recently returned from Baghdad and a near miss on his life. The masses of the people have nowhere had a voice in the preparation of the present slaughter, and still less so in the working out of the present methods of warfare, which represent an entire disregard of what we considered the best inheritance of civilization.

If the wreckage of this inheritance will not be completed by George W. Bush; if notwithstanding the crimes committed during this 'operation iraqi freedom', it will be because, by the side of the extermination organized from above, we have seen thousands of those manifestations of spontaneous mutual aid dwindling from the pull-out of the United Nations in Iraq to the retreat of the Red Cross to the lower numbers of protestors in the streets who are against this war.

How much more progress can the Iraqi people stand?

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Luskin Means No Harm 

Oh, Atrios. You just don't get it. Donald Luskin loves you.

How do I know? Well, at our weekly meeting of NeoCon conspirators he explained himself. His lawsuit against you is his way of saying he cares.

You've obviously forgotten the doublespeak world we are living in. When he and his lawyer send you letters threatening to out your identity, shut off your freedom of speech, and sue you for libel, all they are really saying is "we love America."

Just because Luskin spends all of his time writing nasty things about Paul Krugman on his website doesn't mean that the rest of us should ever try anything like that. He is a professional. Coming up with words like "Krugnoid" is in the realm of genius, to which no one, not even I, can match.

See, it is perfectly OK (downright patriotic if you ask me) for any real Americanoid to make fun of, demonize, and try to silence silly bloggers like you who go around pointing out the obvious and making connections that average people should never even think about (like how Luskin is concerned about his stalking image). We love America and all it stands for: lawsuits, threats, intimidation, freedom of speech for those who can afford it, lying, stalking, being generally creepy, and making lots of money.

Luskinoids, like hemorrhoids, need to be soothed with cream from time to time, of course. You, with your so-called "blog," have a different idea and have upset the balance between us having everything and you having nothing. You have not put enough cream on Luskin, and we must stop you now before your enormous power is used against us. No hard feelings, OK?

I mean, really, Luskin's book should tell you that we are right and you are wrong. He wants everyone to be poor and stupid according to the book he wrote that I didn't read, and he has a plan to accomplish it. It's the guide book for Jeb Bush's 08 election campaign, fer gosh sakes!

So, get with the program, Atrios. Stop reporting on all the bad news coming out of Luskin and focus more on the good. He's building schools!

And again, when he calls people "sycophantic," "apologists," or a "pudgy dweeb" he means it all in the best sense of those words.

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Wednesday, October 29

Signs Of The Times 

Tom Hayden, writing for AlterNet, sees a new global movement rising in opposition to the Bush administration, its wars of empire, and its unremitting lust for wealth and power. This jibes with my own intuition that something is afoot, and while it may not be very noticeable or flamboyant, it constitutes a movement nonetheless.

And that's the way it has to be, isn't it? Organized but decentralized outcry and action from every corner of the globe, as relentless as the Bush government, but in pursuit of our own goals, not those of the theiving rich. The people want peace, freedom, and true democracy. We want an end to hegemonic corporate power over our lives. From the article:

The evidence of things unseen. There is rising a new movement in the world. It is bigger than the movement of the 1960s. Yet it is barely seen by the experts and analysts. They look only at the behavior of institutions and politicians, not the underlying forces that eventually burst into visibility.

The first strand of this new movement is the global opposition to the war in Iraq and to an American empire.

One year ago this month, when over 100,000 demonstrators hit the streets in Washington DC, the New York Times reported that surprisingly few attended the anti-war march, perhaps out of fear of the sniper. National Public Radio repeated the story. How could they not see the 100,000? Apparently because such protests were not supposed to happen anymore. Both the Times and NPR were forced to apologize a few days later and report the huge turnout. Then, in another correction, the Times announced in February that there was a "second superpower" in the world in addition to the White House, which was world public opinion. By then 10 million people were demonstrating globally; two million in Rome, one million in London, 200,000 in Montreal in 20-degrees-below weather – even a brave few in McMurdo Station in Antarctica.

The second strand is the global justice movement, which began with the Zapatistas on the day NAFTA took effect, then surfaced in Seattle in 1999. Those were called isolated events. Then came Genoa, Quebec City, Quito, Cancun, the world social forums in Porto Allegre. Far from isolated events, these were the historic battlegrounds of a new history being born.

Together these movements mount a challenge to an entire worldview. We are experiencing an enlargement of dignity, an enlargement of what we consider sacred and therefore off the table, not negotiable. The purported Masters of the Universe are becoming as obsolete as those who once claimed the divine right of kings. The earth and its people are not for sale; the environment is not just a storehouse of materials for utilitarian exploitation; and cultural identities can't be replaced as if they were commodities, whether the treasures of Babylon or the rainforests of the Amazon. This movement is saying that diversity will not be looted.

Read the rest here: The Evidence Of Things Unseen: The Rise Of A New Movement.

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Up is Down 

Many of you wonder how it can be that, day after day, all evidence points in one direction, but the administration says the opposite. The most recent example is Iraq. The more the bombings escalate and the country falls in to chaos, the better things are going according to our president. The answer is simple: family values.

Remember all the other presidents? Probably not. I can, though. They had wives and children, and were seen with them on regular occasions.

My personal best friend (now that I've ponied up my $2 million), George Bush Junior isn't that type of person.

He doesn't like his family, and they don't like him. He barely goes to visit his parents, and when he does, his wife and kids stay behind while he pretend not to look annoyed. One can understand his annoyance - the Bush family has a tradition of having all the "kids" join Babs and Poppy in their bedroom at the crack of dawn for a bizarre type of family meeting. I'd be annoyed, too. Nobody else has to do that.

His lovely wife, Laura (and another great personal friend), moved back to Texas about an hour after they moved into the White House. Like most high-power ruling elite, she is there just for show. A nice southern man needs a nice white southern woman. End of story. They, like the Clintons, have an agreement to stick together while living distinct lives and seeing whomever they please.

Jenna and Barbara, daughters and heirs to the family fortune, sit in private bars drowning their sorrows. They'll occasionally call Noelle, Jeb's daughter, to see if she can score them some crack. You see, they don't actually get the fortune, so to speak. The role they have taken, due to their near-royal status, is to be married off to some capable men to handle things in the future. The name of the family empire needs to change, to throw detectives off the path.

Finally, we have George himself. He likes Condi. He told me. She is his early morning "exercise partner" and close personal friend. He describes her as "sticky" on a number of occasions. I bet! She's very similar to Laura, you might notice, except for slightly darker skin.

We need to keep him "happy" while Cheney is hard at work. In the past, the VP would be off playing golf and going down on secretaries. Not this time. We switched it around. We put the president into the VP slot, so the normal rules wouldn't apply.

You weren't suspicious when Cheney vetted all the possible VP choices for W. and decided that they all were less capable than he? He chose himself for the spot.

His old pals worked their proverbial (and actual) asses off to deliver Florida and push them into the Supreme Court and on to the White House. Cheney got right to business, and George was given a new play toy and some scripts to read.

Cheney is behind the faulty intelligence that led to Cheney's war in Iraq. Cheney outed the CIA agent's name. Cheney's Halliburton gets most of the contracts and tax breaks. Cheney's energy meetings are being kept secret. Cheney was in the situation room on 9-11. Cheney ordered the plane in PA to be shot down. Cheney went to the CIA to personally help lower level agents find the Iraq data he wanted. Etc.

If Cheney were in the President's seat, he wouldn't be able to be so successful. Hiding in the VP slot is a brilliant way to avoid detection and have lots of free time to devote to personal gain using the full resources of the entire US government.

So we put a VP-quality (Quayle, Gore) person in the President's spot, and encourage them to bumble around, speak nonsense, and be the lightening rod for all attacks. We feed him all his lines. We make sure they are lies, so that you'll spend time bitching about "Bush Lies, Soliders Die" while Cheney keeps on ticking and getting things done.

If you want to stop us, then, ignore W. and devote all resources to examining Cheney on a minute by minute basis.

Now, will the Democrats do this? Can they get a real leader into the #2 position? Time will tell. The new President is the Vice President. With this admisnistration, the emphasis is on the VICE.

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Monday, October 27

I Spoke With Him - We Are Not Insane 

Good thing I have the NeoCon rolodex handy. Flip, flip, and what do we have here? Direct, personal access to one of the 3,000 senior administration officials that are also my personal friends. Let's see, let's look under "W"...

OK, I just got off the phone with Wolfowitz and he gave me answers to all of your questions. Here they are, verbatim:

"1. Why do you hate America so much?

2. The attacks against me weren't actually against me. They were desperate acts by people who hate the progress we're making. Just the other day, in fact, we saw children selling lemondade to soldiers. That didn't happen under Saddam. Just because we gave them the lemonade, and the stand, and uh, it was Bremer's kids, doesn't mean you can deny the progress. This is a success. Of course, I'm using the ancient Babylonian definition of success handed to me by Rumsfeld: "success - a long slog in the desert with many untimely deaths and much destruction for the purposes of enhancing our portfolios".

3. Desperate, desperate, desperate! Progress, progress, progress!

4. The war is not going splendidly, I might add. The war was over last spring. The post-war reconstruction is going splendidly, though. Just please don't go to any army hospitals to see our kids with their arms and legs blown off, and don't go stay at our highly sort-of secure command center in Iraq.

5. 10 missiles aimed at my bed won't stop me from saying "Progress." I'll say it all I want. Progress. There. I did it again. Nyah."

Our conversation was cut short by an unexpected pizza delivery to his hotel door, and then the line went dead. But he is fine. Everything is fine. Why don't you just trust us?

I know people criticize in others what they feel insecure about themselves, so us calling them "desperate" all the time must seem a bit odd. But no, WE are not desperate. We aren't losing our minds. It isn't all unravelling yet. We just got started. Just because it has been proven that there was no nuclear threat. We didn't say there was a nuclear threat. We said "Nucular" if you recall. So we didn't lie. It was somebody else's fault. We only looked at the bad intelligence, which we stand by as being the best there was at the time, even though there was other, better intelligence. We're not insane old white men. Happy. Happy, we are. I'm a kitten. Watch me fly. Eee, eee, eee. Boo! Daisy, daisy, all.... for... the... likes... of ..yooooouuu..... I'm melting. You wicked little girl. Ahhhhhhrrhhha.

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How Dare the Neo-Conservatives Question Peace 

The last time we had to "debate" (be "lectured to" is more the word) who the "enemy" was was when the United States invaded Southeast Asia and started another war it lost called the Vietnam War. Iraq is no different this time around and the war's chief architect Paul Wolfowitz, who was nearly blown to bits over the weekend in his sleep at the Rashid Hotel in downtown Baghdad, is going to go down in history as the most powerful failure in the history of the Defense Department.

Neo-conservatives are desperate to make this war look like it's a blissful success. I have one question to ask: why the hell did the head Neo-Conservative go to Baghdad? Is he out of his mind? They missed him by one floor. The day before they missed him by one black hawk. The day after all hell broke loose in Baghdad. They bombed four police headquarters, the Red Cross, killing 34 and injuring 200 civilians and policemen. The last time a U.S. official got that sort of welcome was... well, in Vietnam when they bombed an army barracks during McGeorge Bundy's visit (I think).

Neo-conservatives dare to question the questioning of this war and its validity. If you don't like our questions, I have one word of advice for you, Mr. Neo-Conservative, and that's move to China! If you don't like questions, my friend, then move out of the White House. How dare you mock the inalienable rights of the citizens of this democracy by ignoring our protests. I don't need an answer to that question. We are not a focus group, Bush. You have a responsibility to answer our questions, not to monitor our emails and imprison our fellow Americans without trial.

I am sick and tired of being lectured to by a group of old white men that intellectualize about war. We call your sort "armchair generals". These old geezers get together at cocktail parties in the homes of Washington senators and debate on how many soldiers we need to occupy a Middle Eastern country. They are concerned about their stock portfolios and their friends are on the board of trustees of major U.S. corporations. They don't even pay taxes and have the nerve to wear those little U.S. flag pins on their lapels.

Well, how does it feel to be a hunted animal, Paul? You like war, Paul? Huh? You like the smell of blood and guts? You like seeing dead people on the floor all around you? You know who I'm talking to, Deputy Defense Secretary Wolfowitz. They almost got you, Mister Neo-Con smarty pants liar. Weapons of mass destruction. Links with Al-Qaeda. What pitiful lies. Uranium from Niger. You were pretty pale, Paul, on CNN when they rolled you out in front of the microphones to show the world you were still in one piece. Funny thing is the world had no idea you were even over there because you snuck over there without telling any of the press. You were afraid they'd try and kill you if they found out you were there.

The first I knew you were even in Baghdad was when they announced the black hawk attack in Tikrit. You survived that one.

I'll bet you'll never go back there now. To Iraq that is. You're scared, Mister Neo-Con. You're going to run back to Washington and what? What are you going to do? Tell us it's a picnic in Iraq, that it's perfectly safe? That the situation is better now than ever?

Yeah, you'll do that, and we'll all go back to our protesting and letter-writing to our members of Congress. We knew all along that sooner or later one of you Neo-Cons was going to get his chest blown out by someone from a country you'd planned an invasion for.

So, I will conclude, how dare you tell us this war is over, that it's safe in Iraq, that things are returning to normal, that it's better now than it was, that we were justified to go in, that we cannot question you on these matters. I guess it takes 10 missiles aimed directly at your bed before you get some sense knocked into you and call the whole thing off.

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Six Days in October: October 20-26, 2003 

Tuesday, Oct 21

Bush threatens to veto the $87b approved by Congress unless the bill is amended to exclude any provision for loans as part of the package. Top Republicans promise to try to kill the loan provision before bringing to the bill to the White House for Bush's signature.

Wed, Oct 22

USA Today publishes Rumsfeld's Iraq war memo which states that the current wars in Afghanistan and Iraq will be 'long hard slogs.'

Pentagon prepares to call up another 30,000 reservists for active duty in Iraq.

Thursday, Oct 23

Bush is in Australia to thank the PM for his help in Iraq. While there, he is protested by thousands of Australians including 41 Labor MPs.

Rumsfeld claims to be 'livid' that his carefully-crafted press-release-like memo about the war in Iraq was published on the front page of USA Today. Later, he claims that when he said that the wars would be 'long hard slogs' he was defining slog using an archaic OED definition meaning "to strike hard." Several congressman claim they were handed the memo by Rumsfeld himself...

Friday, Oct 24

U.S. Allies tally up the donations to the Iraq war effort, and the total ($13b in loans and grants over 4 years) is a little less than the $36b in outright grants that the White House was seeking.

Former CIA officials testify before Senate Democrat leaders and claim that the White House outing of Valerie Plame was a political moved designed to "discredit the CIA."

Senate Democrats on the intelligence committee push for a wider inquiry into pre-war intelligence, as intelligence committee Republicans plan to blame the whole thing on the CIA.

Saturday, Oct 25

Anti-war protest in DC and other American cities draw thousands. Leading the DC march is a cadre of soldier's family members, protesting the war and its premises.

The Miami Herald reports that Halliburton is seeking to spiff up its image by providing happy-talk statements for its employees to parrot in newspaper letters to the editor about the company. Employees are requested to write the letters themselves, in their own words, from the heart, to be most effective.

Wackenhut denies acusations from Venezuela's Hugo Chavez that its employees are CIA agents plotting the takeover of the Venezuelan government. Wackenhut is a private security firm and government contractor with strong ties to the CIA, oil industry, and anti-democratic, right wing politicos.

Syria threatens to strike back if Israel attacks its sovereign territory again.

Sunday, Oct 26

9/11 Commission chairman Thomas Kean, former Republican governor of New Jersey, says in a New York Times interview that he is prepared to subpoena documents from the White House if they are not turned over in the next couple weeks.

Iraqis bomb the heavily guarded hotel where Paul Wolfowitz is staying, killing at least one army officer and wounding 7 other people. Wolfowitz survives unscathed and vows that the Iraq mission will not be deterred.

Pre-Ramadan bombings continue around Baghdad killing at least 34 and injuring hundreds including a strike on a Red Cross base and four police stations.

Special Update: Rumsfeld Watch

Now that Rummy has lost the support of the White House as well as congressional republicans, one wonders how long he can hang on? Read all about it.

Special Update: The Madness Of Resident George

US wants 'mini-nukes' to use against 'smaller aggressors' - Mini-nukes

Special Update: Mother Nature

Large swaths of acreage in Southern California continue to burn in Santa Ana fueled wildfires. 350 home burned down, many thousands evacuated or under threat of evacuation. This is undeniably awful, but one wonders how long it will be before they just pave Southern California altogether and have done with it.

Hold onto your hats, folks. The next couple weeks could be wild.

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Remembering Wellstone 

Remembering Wellstone
October 25, 2003
Burlington--Howard Dean released the following statement:

"One year ago, America lost two of its most passionate voices for our country's ideals. There are very few who have served our country with such integrity as Senator Paul Wellstone and his confidante, most trusted advisor and wife Sheila.

"Paul Wellstone knew what leadership meant. He never stopped to think about what was popular; he always did what was right. He never put his career above the needs of the people. He never forgot that there were millions of Americans who have no voice to speak for them in Washington, and that representative government was about standing up for every single one of them.

"Sheila Wellstone, too, was a fighter, and her work brought attention to the plight of those Americans who suffer from mental illness, so many of whom are not able to advocate on their own behalf.

"For the sake of everything the Wellstones fought for and everyone they spoke for, let us honor their memory through our works as well as our words."

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