Thursday, January 22

Andrew Card Juggles Sleepy, Merry, Grumpy and Angry 

Andrew Card is quoted as saying, of his work as George W. Bush's Chief of Staff:
"There are only 24 hours in a day. The president has to have time to eat, sleep and be merry, or he'll make angry, grumpy decisions. So I have to make sure he has time to eat, sleep and be merry. But I also have to make sure he has the right time to do the right thing for the country, and that he gets the right information in time, rather than too late."

Read the whole thing -- Go ahead.

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Edwards' Win In Iowa: Negative Memo 

Sen. John Edwards admitted yesterday in Portsmouth, New Hampshire after criticizing Democratic candidates for "sniping" and negative campaigning that he wrote and signed a memorandum to his Iowa campaign workers that described Howard Dean as "an elitist from Park Avenue in New York City."

In the 50-page booklet for precinct captains, they are guided in how to pull caucusgoers to Mr. Edwards's side if they were moving toward other candidates.

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Wednesday, January 21

Defeat Dean, For Karl... Please! 

Ted Rall comments on our Dean fears and suggests Karl Rove hates the idea of a Dean nomination:

"In Howard Dean Republicans would be faced with the first aggressive Democratic presidential candidate since LBJ--a guy who's as mean as he is smart. And we need someone mean to parry Karl Rove's dirty tricks and lying attack ads--not to mention to convey to an insecure post-9/11 electorate a sense of strength and determination.

That man, unless I've missed something, doesn't seem to be John Kerry or John Edwards."

Lucky for my pal Rover, Americans are idiots and Democrats are stupid. You'll fall for all our nasty dirt telling you that Dean doesn't have a chance. See, it is much easier for us to beat Howard Dean now rather than later. If we can get you to get rid of him, we can kick back and relax. So please, don't support Dean.

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Tuesday, January 20

Dick Comes Out 

Our dear friend Dick has been in the news a lot lately. On purpose, too, not just being hauled into court or anything. He's coming out, despite his well-known aversion to coming out.

He's being greeted warmly, too, with friendly questions:

"Judy Keen: You must be well aware of the caricature of you that has evolved over the last three years, the whole undisclosed location thing, the sinister force behind the President's policies. What do you make of that? And do you feel compelled to deal with it, especially in the context of this campaign that's just beginning? And lastly, what do you think happened to Iraq's weapons of mass destruction? "

Sinister. He loves being called sinister. But he'd prefer you call him evil genius. Or a brown cloud:

"Cheney: Why do I want to deal with it? What's wrong with my image? . . . Am I brown cloud? Am I the evil genius in the corner that nobody ever sees come out of his hole? It's a nice way to operate, actually."

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Monday, January 19

Credibility Schmedibility 

Who cares if we've lost credibility around the world?

"In last year's State of the Union address, President Bush used stark imagery to make the case that military action was necessary. Among other claims, Bush said that Hussein had enough anthrax to 'kill several million people,' enough botulinum toxin to 'subject millions of people to death by respiratory failure' and enough chemical agents to 'kill untold thousands.'

Now, as the president prepares for this State of the Union address Tuesday, those frightening images of death and destruction have been replaced by a different reality: Few of the many claims made by the administration have been confirmed after months of searching by weapons inspectors.


But a range of foreign policy experts, including supporters of the war, said the long-term consequences of the administration's rhetoric could be severe overseas -- especially because the war was waged without the backing of the United Nations and was opposed by large majorities, even in countries run by leaders that supported the invasion.

'The foreign policy blow-back is pretty serious,' said Kenneth Adelman, a member of the Pentagon's Defense Advisory Board and a supporter of the war. He said the gaps between the administration's rhetoric and the postwar findings threaten Bush's doctrine of 'preemption,' which envisions attacking a nation because it is an imminent threat. "

Severe blowback? Please. We're on the road to owning planet Earth and no one can stop us. What are a few lies along the way, as long as we win? Isn't that a terrorist over there I see? Let's go get 'em! Long live the U.S. Empire!

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Sunday, January 18

Laura Bush's "Box" 

No comment.

"The independent business federation hopes a small-business owner gets... in Mrs. Bush's box, as one did during the past two addresses."

Taking out a few words, et voila. Porn.

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MSNBC Discusses Jeb Bush's Second Term in the Oval Office 

Ah, MSNBC... Skipping past the 2004 and 2008 elections, Eleanor Clift gets right to the point. We plan on staying in power forever. Get used to us.

The government is being held together with chewing gum and baling wire while Bush muses about a moon shot that would not occur until Jeb Bush's second term in office--if then."

Jeb's second term. It will be so wonderful. By then, the plan to turn you into serfs working for the kingdom will be complete. You will buy everything at Walmart and work there, too. Walmart will be your landlord. Your grocery store. Your gas station. Your friend.

Please don't get involved now while there is still a chance to stop our master plan for world domination. It'll just make our dirty tricks campaign that much trickier.

The best thing you can do is to turn off. Go to sleep. Decide to do nothing, and not to worry. Trust us. You can trust us. Worrying takes time and energy. Paying attention is so difficult. You couldn't do it if you tried. You just want to have fun, America. Don't worry.

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