Saturday, April 24

Stop That Plane 

The AP reports that the US was once again able to protect the president's fundraising from a little plane that was POSSIBLY flying off course:

"A small plane was forced to land at an airport Friday night after possibly flying into restricted airspace during President Bush's visit to the Miami area, officials said."

Isn't it reassurring to know that without any warning at all, the president can be safe from airplanes that may or may not be dangerous? The Air Force can scramble in a moment's notice to force the plane to land. Any time it wants. That's what the Air Force is for - protecting our skies.

Except they failed on 9-11 for some reason. Multiple times. Ove the course of hours. With lots of warning. While everyone watching CNN knew where the planes were and roughly where they were headed.

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Wednesday, April 21

A Wolf in Wolfowitz Clothing 

The AP reports:

"Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz appears again Wednesday before another panel of lawmakers, a day after he irritated some senators with a half-hour speech on how brutal Saddam Hussein was, and how better off Iraq was without him.


'What we've been given is a series of just glossy overstatements ... and how bad Saddam Hussein is ... really, really bad,' Democratic Sen. Mark Dayton of Minnesota said sarcastically some three hours into a four-hour hearing at the Senate Armed Services Committee. 'We have a right to know, and we should be told, what is going on over there, in factual terms, in military terms.'"

What don't you trust us anymore? I mean really. He was bad.

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Tuesday, April 20

What Will You Do? 

With Snowball out of the picture for a while, I can ask you a simple question. What will you do when Bush is proclaimed the winner of the election in 2004?

We'll all be sipping champagne at Karl Rove's, watching the ducks fall into line. Our tiny manipulations of data in key districts in key states (thanks, Diebold) will not be noticed by the great journalists of cable news. They will read the scripts we are fine tuning at this very moment. In fact, here's a snippet of the post-election victory speech we're working on:

Thank you, my fellow American people. Once again you have chosen me as your leader. In times of trouble, such as the devastating attack just before the election and rushed renewal and expansion of the Patriot Act, we come together as a people, and Americans. I am grateful and thank the Lord Almighty, Jesus, Mary, Moses, and Richard as well as the American people that we will not waver in the face of evildoers. I accept John Kerry's apologies. He is a good man. To replace Colin Powell we have Wolfowitz, who will also oversee the new draft. To replace Rice we have this other gal who looks like Laura but is a Mexican. Thank you. The curfew will be lifted soon, I promise. God Bless America.

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Sunday, April 18

Coalition of Truce with Bin Laden 

Spain is out.:

"Spain's new prime minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero has given orders for Spanish troops in Iraq to be brought home in 'as short a time as possible'.

In a televised address to the nation, he said he could not ignore what he called the will of the Spanish people.

Spain's foreign minister has told his Egyptian counterpart the pull-out would be 'within 15 days', the Egyptian foreign ministry said in a statement. "

And the Brits are being asked to leave, according to Atrios.

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